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	<title>Thursday's Journey</title>
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		<title>Thursday's Journey</title>
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		<title>Today&#8217;s Counseling&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2009/01/30/todays-counseling/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2009/01/30/todays-counseling/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jan 2009 04:44:30 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=205</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I knew I was going to &#8220;get it&#8221; when I went to counseling today.  I was supposed to write a letter to two young ladies that I had just found out were possibly molested. I tried to sit all week and write this letter.  I would start then throw away what I had put down.  [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=205&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Tough times&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/tough-times/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/12/10/tough-times/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:23:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=202</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Holidays have never been easy for me. I tell myself every year I am doing this for my children.  Old memories haunt me.  I try to keep them at bay and only focus on the good times I have had with my children. Even they are overshadowed by memories of other family members. In my [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=202&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Negative thoughts&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/negative-thoughts/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/10/30/negative-thoughts/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 30 Oct 2008 15:49:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=199</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know there are times my mind wanders. Nothing new really. There are things running through my mind that I don&#8217;t feel I can share with anyone. There are thoughts and desires I won&#8217;t share at all. Not with my husband,friends and even my counselor. I think the bible refers to them as the secrets [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=199&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>A pitfall to watch out for&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/a-pitfall-to-watch-out-for/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/10/02/a-pitfall-to-watch-out-for/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Oct 2008 03:49:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Apologizing to your children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Growing up]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=194</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Someone recently reminded me of something that happened with my daughter. I wanted to share this in the event there may be others who may be experiencing the same type of issue. I was told when I was in counseling the first time that I would probably have struggles with my daughter. I was expecting [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=194&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Once upon a time, a conversation with my daughter&#8230;&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/once-upon-a-time-a-conversation-with-my-daughter/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/26/once-upon-a-time-a-conversation-with-my-daughter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2008 07:28:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[The Kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breaking the Abuse Cycle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Growing up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Surviving Abuse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=190</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My children know&#8230;&#8230; My children know that I had a less than desirable childhood. Quite nasty one would say. They know that I was abused as a child. They know that I was sexually abused, beaten unmercifully, and verbally abused. They do not know details. They just know it happened and it shaped who I [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=190&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<title>Today is one of those days&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/today-is-one-of-those-days/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/today-is-one-of-those-days/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:38:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Just Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression giving up on life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emotional Battles]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=186</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I understand this is a journey I am on but I want out. I would rather not feel anything anymore. I also know this is wrong but I am so ready to just give up and quit. I hate feeling this way. I am tired of hurting. I have gotten so good at masking how [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=186&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>I hate life&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/i-hate-life/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/19/i-hate-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Sep 2008 07:07:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Just Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[danger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hurting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[safety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tempting fate]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=178</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been in a depressive funk. Anything being said to me is being taken personally. I am owning the lies that I shouldn&#8217;t. Take for instance tonight, my husband said something that had nothing to do with me. I felt it was because of me. You see I still think it&#8217;s my fault. Even [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=178&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>Unlovable&#8230;&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/unlovable/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/unlovable/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Sep 2008 08:43:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Just Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=155</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It is difficult to look back at ones abuse once the blinders have been removed. Everything is questioned. The lies. The truth, such as it was during that time. The motives. Each memory is removed from the shelves of my mind where they are stored. They are examined thoroughly as if they are now being [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=155&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>I have been avoiding coming here for awhile&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/i-have-been-avoiding-coming-here-for-awhile/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/09/11/i-have-been-avoiding-coming-here-for-awhile/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Sep 2008 05:35:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Just Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Childhood dreams]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulate]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=145</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have been avoiding coming here for a few days because I had some things to work through. I actually went into counseling on Thursday with every intent to quit. I don&#8217;t know what happened but I scheduled another appointment for the following week&#8230;&#8230;. This is so difficult on so many levels. I would almost [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=145&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
	
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		<title>I wanted to share God&#8217;s work in my life&#8230;..</title>
		<link>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/i-wanted-to-share-gods-work-in-my-life/</link>
		<comments>http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/2008/08/28/i-wanted-to-share-gods-work-in-my-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 16:08:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>next44</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Beginning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Just Me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Being abused and not wanting children]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ending cycle of abuse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God's Grace]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God's Healing a broken life and heart]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God's Timing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[God's will]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[raising children in abuse free home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Victory over childhood abuse]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://thursdaynext44.wordpress.com/?p=129</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have another blog. One that is open and not anonymous. I decided to pull a couple of the entries from that blog and post them here. Of course names have been removed to protect the innocent. I am wading through the rest of this journey, but wanted to share some other aspects of my [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=thursdaynext44.wordpress.com&amp;blog=4448433&amp;post=129&amp;subd=thursdaynext44&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
	
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